Choices

How many black women dealing with drug dealers or the street life can admit to this?…That our choices, changed lives. This question came about, from me watching an episode of: Iyanla’s Fix My Life. Our choices have long lasting, rewards or consequences. As women, we must take a serious look, at how we make these choices. It matters. Lord knows, it really does matter.

We all have choices to make…so be mindful, when making them. Negative or Positive.

Black women often “disconnect” from our choices, especially if they’re negative…we like to overlook “how” our choices in men and life, can “cost” our children greatly. A few years back, many could not fathom, why I walked away from a twenty year marriage …it was a story like one, on “Iyanla’s Fix My Life” that I didn’t want, to become my own. 

Many years ago, I saw where my life was headed…I went away to college to escape, becoming a “statistic.” That was a conscious decision. I decided early in my life, that I would not end up as a misguided, young black woman. I was taught marriage before children was the way. So, I pursued that path in life but no one told me, that professional isn’t enough, when selecting a mate to have children with. Our choices matter.

Things were great for years, I went professional and figured I had “escaped.” Then, much later down the stretch, that mate, decided to entertain/dabble in a negative lifestyle…that was when I knew, our time together was officially, over. I gave associating with the street lifestyle up, years ago, no way could I let anyone, bring me or my children down a dark path for money, prestige or clout. I had no idea how many jealous women were literally, sticking their nose (and other body parts) in my relationship, behind my back. I’ve since cut off, those women and I will continue to make adjustments, as necessary. Never let others over-step your boundaries, ever. They all know better.

A lot of people don’t connect that their behavior and choices in life, can cost them, their family and friend. Women think “Self-love” is going shopping or pampering themselves at a spa..they’ve got it all wrong. Loving oneself or true “Self-love” is staying out of and to fully stop, engaging in ALL, toxic relationships and behaviors. How are you out here clowning over a man, calling or popping up at his home, creeping with or cutting your girl’s throat to get at a guy, then, claiming, that you walk in self love? Nah boo, your actions prove that you’re still very confused about self love. Read the article, “Self love” click link here, https://triddykat.com/self-love/

Self love won’t allow you to act that way. Nor, would it allow you to compete for, chase after or degrade yourself or another woman for a man, either. I used to be foolish too, that’s when I lacked self love. I get it but I’ve since healed. Have you? No arguing either Sweetie,“If he is with her, let him keep his *ss right there with her, there’s no shortage in men.” Yes, That’s slang guys. SELF-LOVE won’t allow that mud duck behavior…because women with self love know better. More slang.

Women have been programmed to go for “providers” first and foremost but that can be detrimental to ourselves and our children. It’s also a toxic mindset, that we’ve been socially conditioned, basically trained to accept, as normal. If most women were 100% honest, we’d tell you, that we don’t usually marry for love, we usually marry for security. Peep, I didn’t say money is our security…although, for some women, it can be.

Most women feel secure, when in a relationship …and most women, are made to feel insecure, when they’re not in one. That’s some bs but that’s why so many women, go so hard for men (no matter how trifling some are). We’ve got to get our sh*t together, ladies. Plenty are exploiting us, because of our toxic *ss ways and our toxic thinking. I was almost taken out because of mines. It was being used against me in the worst way imaginable. I thank God, I healed, that’s what saved me. I went to Source and only focused on my healing. Nothing came before it. Take it serious, it matters because You, matter. That’s self love, too…our choices.

Every man isn’t a dog, just like every woman isn’t a b*tch. The trick is to be secure within ourselves, in or out of a relationship. How about we go harder for our, self healing, like we go for these men? Lord knows that will help us out tremendously. And, that’s ok, once we know that we need to heal and we are willing to do something about it. Then, we are able to make healthier decisions in selecting our mates. Healing is a choice. It’s always about Choices.

We haven’t been properly trained to see if a person, is safe for ourselves and most importantly, safe and mature enough to have children with..so most women are drowning in regret…yet, no one is addressing this. I literally went through hell, a custody battle dragged out- that never should have legally happened, in the first place…because of so many messy women, involving themselves, where they had no business being. Period. Pair that with me, not fully knowing who, I was having children with. It mattered. We must look deeper, hopefully, before things change. It will make all of the difference. “Know who you breed with.” That’s slang but it’s real.

Now, I’m not knocking anyone..simply sharing an epiphany, on needing to know way more on selecting, whom, we will have our children with, is a must. What if I had taken the time to find out more, earlier on? A person that could cause suffering because of unhealed issues, could be avoided. That type of stuff must be addressed before we decide to have children. It matters. It can spare you (and your children) from the bs, later on. Choices.

No one really taught us anything about what really truly matters. It’s our choices. We didn’t know because our own mothers, didn’t know any better, when they were selecting, our fathers. What if they had been taught the significance of their choices, early on? No one wants children with a person that is just a plain *ss selfish parent/co-parent. It absolutely matters. My mother decided on giving up her child(me) because of the type of man, she was dealing with. That choice, later, forced me, the child, to pay for both, his and her decision. Our choices matter because they can change the lives of others, in negative and positive ways. Be mindful.

Who has truly “taught”us, Sisters how to make “Healthier choices” in life or in selecting a mate?…And, that’s part of why, we have so many bitter black women out here, making excuses for our extremely “dysfunctional” behavior patterns. Mad about those choices, we’ve made. So when are we going to do something about it? It changes, when we decide to change it. Period.

I believe that episode (Iyanla’s, Fix my life) is powerful because so many sisters will be forced to look at the role, we play, as Mothers , modeling inappropriate behaviors before our children.  

Now, I understand why so many women stay in toxic marriages because of what was allowed to illegally, be done, to my children and I in court (Fulton County, Ga.). When I decided alone, is better than staying with anyone toxic..I literally, had lots of messy, so-called professional women, come to the aide of toxic men. All helping toxic men, cloak and come up with malicious plans, to purposely, deceive me. It was the “Sistas” that were actively engaged in debauchery. Pray for those distorted feminine energies around you. Leave it to the Divine, while you stay in integrity and character. Trust me, when I tell you that,“What hasn’t come out in the wash, is bound to come out in the rinse.” Slang.

In efforts, to keep me, in toxic relationships because they, themselves, were bitter and unhappy with their own lives because of their choices in life. I call this type of woman, a “Meddling Messy Mary.” Any family, lovers or friends that help toxic people, go after people, should be considered, dangerous also. It is important to severe those ties… and, immediately, pull your energy back from them all. These toxic people feed off your energy…shut them all down. Make them go live off, their own energy, not yours. You are no one’s financial security plan or supply.

Cut the cord. Tell ’em all, “It was all sh*ts & giggles before…but I guarantee that it’s no fun, when the Rabbit’s, got the gun.” Everything happens in Divine Timing. Wait on Source, it only looks like they’d gotten over, they haven’t. Just focus on your healing, the Universe hasn’t forgotten you. Let things align. No one will mock, God…let those that thought they could “Keep living.” Read the article, “Cut ’em Out” link here, https://triddykat.com/cut-em-out/

Stop the toxic cycle. It’s under the curse. We pass that low vibrational crap on to the next generation, if it’s not addressed and healed from. We, as women, must become accountable for our choices. That’s how we change things. We’ve been lied to, what we do or don’t do, to others, in life, matters, later on, in our lives. Choose wisely, it will matter a great deal, later on.

We must become active and vocal, about breaking and stopping, the toxic behavior, beliefs and toxic cycles in our lives. Decide, it ends with us because it does. Read the article, “10:10:10” click link here, 10:10:10 and the article, “Closed” click link here, Closed

Keep shining.

~Triddy Kat💋

Youtube channel – TRIDDY KAT’S MEOW

Visit me at https://triddykat.com and https://triddykatsmeow.com

TRIDDY KAT®