Obsessed?

Every time, I hear the song, “Why you so obsessed with me?” by Mariah Carey, I think “Oh my gosh fellas, please don’t let this be you”… and if it is you, make it a point to stop this behavior, the moment you finish reading this. 

I don’t know who y’all are talking to but most women go after men for security “first “ and whenever a man stalks us, he’s automatically red-flagged and considered a threat to our safety. Unbeknownst to him, thereby removing himself, off the list of candidates or one who can provide security.

He quickly gets dropped from the “fine as hell list” and placed on the top of our “one crazy nut” list. A cock blocker. Read the article, “Cock Blocker” click link here, COCK BLOCKER

Ok, let me give you an example, I was deeply attracted to someone but because of his controlling possessiveness after the break-up, I decided to cut my losses and never view him as a viable option again. Why? He lacked Self-Control over knowing how to regulate his emotions. That to me, is a red flag. That person comes off as unstable and unsafe. No way do I ever want a relationship with someone that lacks Self-Mastery… because it will turn into a toxic lesson.

He quickly went from someone that I cared about, to someone I prayed would stay away from me. Why, because he became too unpredictable in a very negative sense. He never moved on and he refused to release grudges. Read the article, “Release” click link here, Release I cut off my girls who move this way, also…For me, that tells me there is something extremely dark in them, it’s sadistic.. people that take pride in simply dogging people or deceiving them with revenge, are a turn off…in any area of your life. 

Anyway, back to this fellas, you guys can’t harass an ex, stalk her, talk crap about her to others & purposely usher in chaos, then , wonder why she leaves your messages on “unread” or never calls you back. If you continue to manifest negative experiences for her. You’ve now become the guy she associates turmoil and pain with …and, that’s the last thing you’d want a woman, whom you want back in your life, to view you as.

Now, she’s thinking: He might be nuts and she’ll decide to move away from you, literally but silently. In her mind, you’ve lost it and your sense of self. No bueno. 

Trust me on this, she won’t run to you for help because you’ve done an excellent job on showing her that you’re a very emotionally “unstable” person…That’s way too creepy to us. Remember, we usually run from creeps in horror films, get it? 

Most women don’t care for, the ex that didn’t understand it was over, when it was over but decided to cause her problems…Hello? Who do you know that gets turned on by the person that bullied them? A person refusing to accept a relationship is over is a bully…because they’re now trying to “make” or “force” you to stay in a relationship with them.

Gentlemen, you’re delusional if you think creating havoc, will make an ex want you back. ..if your ex is a woman, it tells us that you’re mentally unstable and we want nothing to do with a man or woman, that makes us question his/her sanity. He/she is not safe to be around.

Please note, that I mostly say men but if you’re a woman pulling these tactics, he’s running from your weirdo butt too… because “Crazy is crazy” …it’s not gender specific. Don’t do it.

Who really wants to be stuck with an obsessed person? I don’t want to be your god. That’s fantasy based. Give me real, real humans have flaws, work on it and we’re good.

That person in the fantasy, doesn’t want real and is considered a ticking time bomb… we start to loathe being near him because he’s become too unpredictable, which means being around him is a safety hazard. 

Now, you’ve become a high-risk we’re just not willing to take…we will now do, all we can to avoid interacting with someone that acts like you. You’re becoming that scary dude.

Whatever it is that attracted us to you in the beginning, is being overshadowed by your negative behavior now…Do you see where I’m going with this? You’re losing her because of you. She may have considered giving you another chance but you went too far, afterwards.

You never want to make someone regret ever dealing with you. They will become embarrassed for allowing you into their personal space…making them question their judgement…on how did you get over pretending to be normal and you’re not?

What do you do with bad memories…? You try to block them out, right? So, ask yourself, if how you’re acting now, gives someone a bad taste in their mouth…creating nothing but bad memories of you. Would you, date someone acting like you?

Some people actually think if they cause their ex stress or havoc, it will make her want to come running back to them …wrong! Once we discover it’s them behind the nonsense, we’ll decide to forever drop them like a bad habit. 

You’ve just become a nightmare experience that requires no more of our time or emotions.

If you’re guilty of acting like this, this is why your ex doesn’t speak or interact with you…you’re behaving too vindictive, petty or childish. 

It’s a turn off and now your behavior is making her look to someone else, other than you because she thinks, “I never knew this guy, look at what he’s become.” 

Those doing this need to stop it NOW, I mean Asap!!! Because it’s you, you’re chasing & scaring off the person, you’ve claimed to love. How’s that working for you?

Pull back, let her know you still care but be easy. Think on the things you’ve done to get her in the beginning, that’s where the answer to your problem lies, in that loving courtship but don’t force it. Forcefulness, especially on a guy guilty of hurting us, spells nothing but a “lunatic” to us. How can you hurt us, then expect us to want to be with you? That’s what got us hurt..being withYOU.

Fall back some, let her digest her feelings and gently approach but now, you know to move slow cause you’ve likely mucked it all up. That takes time but if you can sincerely show her that you still care… and that you were only weak but you see and recognize the error in your ways…she will start to miss that part of you that she fell for, in the very beginning. Not this mad man (you’ve temporarily become) waiting in the darkest shadows for her…hell, wouldn’t you run from that? 

I know women do this too but it’s much more men, then women, that believe women are property …so they mess up becoming possessive with and over her. You don’t own her, you were to love her…that paradigm of being entitled and ownership of a woman, is guaranteed, to scare, the one you love off, for good.

It’s all in your approach. I’ve been through it all & I promise you, it was their sense of entitlement to me that turned me off most..no one owns me, I allowed you in, to share a life of love with me, not to find an owner…as if I’m property or a pet. You’ve tried to diminish my value and light, by trying to own me…be open, honest, caring and loving or get the hell out of my way. I don’t want what you’re offering because it’s bondage and slavery to be involved with someone, that thinks like you. You can keep your bs offer. I don’t want or need it.

“A possessive man treats his woman as his slave and will lose her because of his out-dated thinking.” Read the article, “Enslaved” click link here, Enslaved

Hopefully, some of you fellas will reconsider your approach…that approach could be all wrong and that’s why she won’t even pick up her phone, to hear you out. You’re too arrogant to see it’s a turn off. Dude, look at how you’re out here acting..like a damn fool. Who wants that? Would you date you? Hell no you wouldn’t.

You could be coming off to her as nothing more than a brute now, you think? 

Hey, I’m only trying to help y’all out… sharing what I know worked with me and what didn’t. Any man that refused to be easy. I wanted nothing to do with him anymore because he came off as a narcissist to me because he refused to respect my boundaries. I’m not into men that think they own or possess women. Men that think or believe women are objects, can usually be classified as serial killers. Please, don’t do it fellas. Updated 1/24/23

Keep shining.

~Triddy Kat💋

Youtube channel- Triddy Kat’s Meow

Visit me at https://triddykat.com and https://triddykatsmeow.com

TRIDDY KAT®