Predator or prey? Which one are you? Only time will tell. Most swear, they were the prey but if they are honest and look deeper, it is likely, they were truly, the predator. Have you ever had to let someone or something go …and, deep down, you really didn’t want to but y’all both know, that it can’t stay, as it is?
That’s some real challenging mess to face cause they won’t grow, if you don’t release them..you knowing that means “you” have to be the one to do the release…selfishness and ego says,”Hold on”.. but if you hold someone back from becoming great or even greater, Can you really say that’s love? It’s not. Read the article, “Release” clicking link here, Release
Love says, “With or without me, you’re free to move on”…ain’t like that crap doesn’t hurt you too, you just know it’s time..and, that it’s a very necessary process for growth.
Well, I’ve had to do this more than once in my lifetime. It never gets any easier. I couldn’t sleep making that decision. Messed with my peace of mind and all…and, that “clingy energy” I had the most trouble with releasing..I liked being needed. It was my addiction, codependency but it was killing me.
I had to check myself…and, go find balance. Self Love became my antidote. Walking away, when I really didn’t want to was no joke…hell, it was hard but that unhealthy cycle, had to be released…and, it taught me a lot, about myself. It wasn’t pretty. I saw that I needed to heal.
I saw that I was controlling, spoiled and manipulative. I’d do whatever, I felt was necessary to get what I want. I didn’t care who I’d hurt along the way…as long, as I’d reach my intended goal. I thought, “I’m good.” I really wasn’t, I was out of control because I was lost.
The setbacks of a high achiever, is that we are never satisfied. We need new goals to master constantly or we become bored with the mundane in life. One can say, we are actually gluttonous people..borderline ungrateful, but we’re not..we’re just strangely motivated. So be wary of the insatiable appetite. I’ve since learned, it’s to be tempered.
I’m extremely driven but I needed to conquer “temperance and empathy” because I was cold when it came to loving others…now, you can love me but I’m not loving your *ss back. Surface love only but in depth, hell no. Constant betrayal of self, makes one weary of trust.
I can show you some raw emotions but nothing too deep, you ain’t getting beyond a certain point with me or I’m sabotaging us. I was broken, I associated pain with love. I don’t need that sh*t in my life, it will only slow me down and it would create vulnerability in me.
I ain’t about to let you have me weak. I was too foolish to know that love is vulnerability.
Since, I can only depend on me, a weak me, is no good. Whose going to pick me up, should I fall? And, that’s exactly why I fell. The imbalance was too great. I was not allowing anyone in my heart space..that’s imbalanced and its foolish. We all need love. It’s the only thing, real.
I love children because I’m never in survival mode with or around them. I give them all my love & heart freely but no one else. They are the only ones, I make the exception for. Babies and children need that nurturing Mommy mode. I later found out, that I needed that too. I love that side of me and kids, naturally bring it out of me..but it’s my south node, I’ve mastered it already.
I will love you from a distance, but I’m keeping my heart to myself. That way you can’t break or hurt me. See the toxic survival thinking? One can’t live there. It’s an unhealthy space. It allows no place for Source to dwell within, if one’s heart is closed to love. That was the reason for the betrayal in the first place…to get one to close the heart. Don’t fall for that bs. It keeps one stuck, it’s a trap. Using one’s heart, against itself. That’s how one attracts low vibrational beings. That’s why your healing matters. It’s part of one’s protection, along with discernment from Source.
Growing up in a Cold World, in situations, that I had no say so in, created confusion within me.. I had to survive the best way, I knew how…love just wasn’t something, I could afford. Yet, it’s the one thing, I knew, I needed and always wanted. I desperately searched and yearned for love. I finally found it. I, was what I was looking for all along. I gave myself that love I wanted from others. Changed the entire game. I snatched my power back from all of the clowns in my life. Folks disguised as lovers, family and friends. I make ’em all play the back now. I don’t need that fake sh*t in my life. Official tissue, only guys…and Yes, that’s slang. Don’t reward foolishness.
I’m still transforming, it was very painful but it was worth it. Accepting the truth always is. It makes you shed the false self and drop the illusions. Most can’t handle releasing the lie cause they fear they’ll have nothing left to hold on to. I’m here to tell y’all, “That’s a good place to be because it forces one to rebuild on truth or be demolished with the lies.” I had to tame the beast within me…and, go create something different. I did it scared. Self Mastery is a must.
The Universe has blessed me..I finally figured out that Self Love was what I needed. I worked hard, going within and healing me. Then, I finally gave me, what I needed. LOVE…and, trust me when I tell y’all, it’s the best thing ever. It was soooo worth it!!
I wonder how many of y’all reading this, are just like me but just don’t know it yet? I’ll let y’all tell it though. More slang.
Keep shining.
*This was originally, created and written by, “Triddy Kat” on May 21, 2017. Updated, 11/3/21.
~Triddy Kat💋
Youtube channel- TRIDDY KAT’S MEOW & TRIDDY KAT
Visit me at https://triddykat.com and https://triddykatsmeow.com
TRIDDY KAT®
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