Self

People often ask me, “How can you just walk away from a 20 year marriage??”

I instantly know from their question, they don’t understand it…and most people really mean no harm, they’re simply trying to make sense of it all. 

I didn’t walk away, I began to see…“What I really am, isn’t what I thought I was”…I was wearing a mask and didn’t even realize it. I was conditioned to not walk in my truth, to stay married. Even If my spouse and I had obviously outgrown one another. That’s the facade, it’s conditioning. Never willingly live a lie for anyone. Always be true to thyself.

On the outside, it’s a happy, put together family…but growth must occur or it dies…no positive change makes it become a facade. Read, “Facade” link here, Facade Truth is, we were both fighting some type of addiction, in one way or another…and we were both operating as dysfunctional as hell, by staying together…it had become pure chaos. I was addicted to being needed, a martyr. People pleasing. I would place all of my needs at the bottom of the list and do for others, as if it was noble…no, it is isn’t, it’s foolish to martyr myself for my family. Then, I’d turn around and get mad if others couldn’t reciprocate. That’s not a loving person folks, that’s just a jackass. It’s also a form of manipulation.

No one is to make anyone else a priority over oneself. You can help out and but never at your expense of your own well-being. I was helping others out, when the truth was “I was supposed to to get me straight, first.” A lot of women are out here mad and resentful with their men because they gave them their all. Now they’re depleted. Burnt out. Let me ask y’all a question? Who told you to do that? That’s the Toxic conditioning I was talking about earlier. It’s no good. Anything or ANYONE that requires one to abandon, oneself, is not for you. Period. It’s not wise. You can give but you’re always to keep something for yourself. That’s balanced and heathy. I know because I was her, the martyr…and had to work hard to heal from over giving. People pleasing. No boundaries. I hope y’all know having no boundaries is dangerous, it attracts narcissist like flies to a pile of s***. IJS.

Another thing, no one likes to openly discuss how drinking, sexing or gambling, etc. can quickly get out of control…overeating too, it is all “addiction“…and it all kills a marriage. For some reason, in marriages, many treat those toxic behaviors as if, it’s not addiction, just as long as y’all are STILL married, no one really cares about the rest but I do. You were to seek professional help and conquer that ugly behavior, not ask or guilt your partner to stick by you while you spiral out of control. Who wants to be married to an addict of anything? It’s solely up to you to go do the work on you. If they choose to leave, that is their right also but don’t you dare enable anyone’s toxic behavior. They are to present their best selves to you, as you are presenting your best self to them, anything less is a damn joke. Grow up. Stop lying to yourselves.

I felt like this, we either will deal with our bs or I’m out. Our environment had become toxic. Growth was no longer happening. I wasn’t willing to compromise to save face any longer. It had cost me too much. The marriage had now become an “illusion”…a dangerous comfort zone. No one grows in that type of environment. I began to crave change and growth. Read the article, “Change” click link here, https://triddykat.com/change

I had to come back to what’s real for me. Myself. Not the things society or family and friends say are best for me. What Do I say, Is best for me? Did I even know anymore? No. I’d been married so long, I’d almost forgotten. I dropped it all and went in search of me. I awakened. Read the article, “Awakening” click link here, https://triddykat.com/awakening

So I got my head out the clouds of “what was”…and admitted to myself, “I’m where I am today, because that isn’t anymore.” Period. Slang.

I became grateful for the journey and began to thank Source for LOVE. I learned to “appreciate” all of the life lessons that entire experience taught me and then, “I let go.” I walked away because I was losing me. I could no longer afford to give me away. I left to go and heal me. I didn’t ask permission because I knew no one had the right, to think I belonged to anyone. I did what was best for me and took my power back. Compromise wasn’t working. Most turned on me offered no support at all. I didn’t care…who needs friends and family like that anyway? And so, I gave them all my ass to kiss. I only owed it to me…to be my best version of self. No further explanation required. I had to have my own back now.

Walking away doesn’t always mean that you don’t love someone. For me, it meant coming back to truth…letting go of out-dated belief patterns that are full of fear and false obligations to everyone but myself. That just didn’t work for me anymore. I am not here to martyr myself for anyone, so I won’t.

I was the product of my own belief patterns… stuck in an old paradigm. Read the article, “Patterns” click link here, https://triddykat.com/patterns/

I was no longer aspiring for what I know truly makes me happy and fulfilled. I’d settled for comfortable and mundane…I’d become discontent, yet I wasn’t doing anything about it…why?

I looked at my life, to see what I needed to take control of ME again and then decided, I’d change direction…and I stepped out on faith in Source and myself, to take a new path. I changed lanes.

I want real, no more fake…no more Fugazi allowed in my life. If I discovered, it was fake or insincere, I dropped it all. I would rather rebuild it all, then to knowingly build with and on lies. Read “Fugazi” here, https://triddykat.com/fugazi/

I don’t care if that meant starting all of my life over, alone. I’ve done it before. It didn’t kill me, just bruised my ego. I’ve got my own back, now. I don’t need anyone’s permission to do me. I am enough and with the Creator of all holding me down…I can’t lose.

Never be embarrassed about what you have or don’t have. Starting over can place you back at zero. Guess what I’ve discovered? Peace of mind is there also. Smile, it’s only a season. Keep going. Plus, none of that makes you, YOU. Keep doing you, unapologetically…be bold. Read the article, “Unapologetically You” link here, Unapologetically You

Sure a divorce can wipe you out, financially…because of corruption, mine did…But I create regardless baby, I always bounce back. So can you. Let fear stop nothing. Any “unchecked” addiction in a family unit, will take it all from you too. It will wipe you out. What’s the difference? Pick your poison. Most of us weren’t born into riches and are fronting anyway, just to keep up the facade. To hell with that. I want real. I’ve lost it all too. I got right back up and went to go do it all over by myself. Bump haters. Let ’em talk and take notes. Read the article, “Let ’em Talk” click link here, https://triddykat.com/let-em-talk

My goal was Freedom. Liberation. Coming back home to my Self. Sigh.

The freedom to be true to thy Self, with no limitations in Self or in LOVE because I know, that Love is the only thing real. I’m me, like it or leave it, I don’t care…I walk in my truth, baby. Now that’s self love, boo. Read the article, “Self-Love” click link here, https://triddykat.com/self-love

I finally did it…finally, I’d faced myself..and that’s how I found MYSELF. Hot damn!! Read the article, “Ntwadumela” click link here, Ntwadumela

Life is better than Good! Smile.

P.S.- Something tells me, There’s a whole lot of people that need to hear this message today. Updated 1/22/23

Keep shining.

~Triddy Kat💋

Youtube channel- Triddy Kat’s Meow & Triddy Kat

Visit me at https://triddykat.com and https://triddykatsmeow.com

TRIDDY KAT®